So, Adrie will be here soon. I’m excited to have a new baby around and scared to death at the same time.

Kaden is such a handful, it’s amazing how different boys and girls are. We’re finally experiencing what “terrible twos” really means. I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

Adrie appears healthy, regardless of all the problems her mom has been having. Sena has had a rough pregnancy and she’s a trooper as always.

Keylie and Alise both just had their birthday parties, always a hectic time of the year. I can’t believe that Alise is 10 now.

I’ve been hectic balancing family and career and sanity. Everything seems to be speeding up.

What a crazy life.

So, we are having our fourth and final child.

I’m excited and relieved that we are done. I already feel old and done with that stage, I want to enjoy watching them grow into the mischievous deviants I know they can be.

Everyone is healthy, everyone is happy. Life is pretty good in these less than happy times we live in. I feel lucky.

taking the kids to halloweekends at cedar point; they are extremely excited to be scared.

found some old swanky stuff on a CD..  good stuff.

I’ve moved things back to dustin.vannatter.com ; I’ll keep the ’sometimes they malfunction’ theme, but there was no reason to keep the domain – these days I’m all about cutting costs and being frugal. Having three kids will do that to you, regardless of how much money you have.

Speaking of kids, they’re all doing well. They are enjoying their summer and their new home. I’ve been working day and night on making their adjustment this time as painless as possible – so far, so good I believe.

Sena turned 30 this past month so I can finally start cracking the same ‘over the hill’ jokes on her that she rained on me over the past year.

It’s been a great summer, sitting on my front porch looking out over the cornfields. I feel at home finally.

Winter has been cruel here in Ohio.

I can take the cold, I can’t take a constant flux between cold and warm. This back and forth is killing me (and my bum knee [my built-in barometer]).

Kaden turned one this past weekend, we had a Spongebob party for him. I bought him a Porsche, die-cast.

I don’t know why we stay in Ohio. It’s been a month since we got back from vacation and I can’t find any reason to stay here much longer. The only thing keeping us here is our extended families and that’s not a good reason to make financial and opportunistic sacrifices.

It always gets better in the Spring; at least until Fall.

I’ve been working on a new ‘web project’, my first real one since I decided to retire from the “Oh, Hello” grind. It’s been fun so far, I hope it sticks – I miss the challenge.

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House flooded, basement smells of mold and frustration.

Kids arguing, frustration floods me.

Summer gone, falling to Fall, girls older, boy bigger.

Cold wind through shoddy windows, need replaced, frustration.

Laughing at myself, my self reflection seems gone. This isn’t about me, it’s about doing what needs done, for girls and boy and wife and home.

Seasons, fall, stand up.

August, still 29. Haven’t crossed over just yet.

Alise and Keylie are taking swimming lessons at the YMCA. Kaden is eating us out of house and home.

It is hot here, but I won’t complain – Fall is just around the corner.

Happy belated birthday to Sena. May you always be able to find something wonderful in bad times; always laugh while surrounded by solemnity.

Happy birthday, Alise.

You are beautiful, as always. I can’t believe how big you are now, and how much you have and haven’t changed.

You are such a caring and helpful girl, always willing to do things for your sister and brother.

I am so proud of you, beanie.

I’m going to stand by my opinion that Braid remains one of the best bands of all time.

That opinion may be greatly influenced by the timing of my Braid experience: new town (Chicago), new family (Sena and Alise), new experiences (Job, computers).

Regardless, every time I hear “First Day Back” I get a huge hankering to just drop whatever I am doing and dance crazy.

“to what do i owe this attention
i’m only half of the reflection
and the conversation goes
oh, nevermind.”

I can’t believe it has been five years.

I remember sitting at my office as Sena came in carrying a “It’s a Baby!” balloon trumpeting your impending arrival.

You were born so quickly, so easily. You gave us no problems on your way into this world. You want to grow up quicker than we want you to; You want to be big.

I watched you at Chuck E Cheese with your little friends. You have such a loving heart, my little angel. You share everything with everyone – your toys, your candy, yourself. I worry people will take advantage of that eventually, but then I remember you’re Keylie, and you don’t let anyone take advantage of you.

I think sometimes of how small and smart and fragile you sometimes seem, sleeping beside me on the couch as you drift and snore softly late at night.

Where are the years going, I wonder. Things seem to be speeding up for me, leading me further away from you as you become more and more independent.

I look at you and your sister and your brother and I can’t help feel worried that I’ll never be able to do enough for you all. But then you look at me with those crystal blue eyes, smile and say ‘I love you daddy’ and for a moment, everything freezes and I know I’m doing something right.

Happy Birthday, my little princess; my little ‘keke bird’ – may everyday make you feel this special.